Blog, I

Create a role playing identity.  Create a community as it’s home.   Create a graphic.  Create a blog.

Go find some sucker who has to be nice to you in public or he loses face.  Award him.  Blog about him since you have nothing else to do.  Do this ten times.

After ten times, spam five people a day that you’ve got content/awards, and invite them to join your community.  Sucker people into doing your legwork, give them names and titles, let them feel important.

Wait until you have many people linking to you, giving you PR and Authority in Technorati.  While everyone does their job, include affiliate marketing to ‘offset’ your cost…which is nothing, but shuts up hard working suckers who don’t know better.

Be patient.  Let things happen.  While the suckers work, go make another make believe character, figure out another angle, and go do the process all over again.  Pretty soon you’ll have virtually hundreds of people working for you freely while generating a small amount of cash.  The more models you create, the more penny cash machines will go ching into your bank account.

After all this hard work reward yourself with a cup of Earl Grey, you can find it in the Tea Collection. Be…continental virtually, everyday!

Being a veteran of the ‘Battle of the Bulge’, I can sympathize with many people who are downright overweight.

We’re fat, people. Deal with it.

There was a time when I was the picture of beautiful health. Abdomen rippled with gentle swaying muscles, legs tawny and tight the female soldiers dreamed of after viewing me run past them swiftly as a deer. Many times those same legs saved me from the throngs of passionate viewers falling prey to their emotional upheaval.

Alcohol didn’t help. Food didn’t help. A desk job didn’t help. Neither did alli, but since I didn’t try them I can’t say if it could.

Kind of makes me think sometimes…when we fantasize we never worry about the fat, do we now?

I was doing some searching on Thanksgiving recipes a minute ago and realized vegetarians don’t have it as good as meat eaters.

Every time I see something about creating a vegetarian holiday meal I see over worded psychobabble that tries to make the mind believe it’s having a feast…when it amounts to another dish of tofu stuffed peppers.

Regardless of how many colors you have to pick, you’re still going to have undigested pepper skin in the end, literally.

Cost of a hard drive: Too much.
Cost of a set of memory sticks: Too much.

Cost of finding both that are better than the ones in your pc in a dumpster: Priceless.

For fools, there’s Circuit City. For everyone else, there’s Waste Management.

Waste Management. Preferred Dumpster Carriers of Homeless Hackers worldwide.

For your other necessary necessities there’s always ram online!

1. Wear proper personal protective equipment. In this situation it’s not always enough to make sure you use air tools you can see…as well as your friends being able to see them. You need to be able to feel the noise…and the tools.

2. Work only on your air guitar with air tools in a properly ventilated area. Make sure you, your air guitar, and air tools using to work on it are all getting enough ample fresh air.

3. Don’t get winded when cleaning your air guitar. Doing so could cause cramps, bloating, and a knock out situation you’ll regret later.

I don’t own a car, but even dweebs like me dream of getting cool chrome accessories to trick out their rig…even if they don’t have rigs.

Driving real slow by people…gettin’ looked at…it’s almost a form of exhibitionism…just like blogging.

Last night, I had a dream. A dream DaddyPapersurfer was tricked out in a chrome bumper. And Fracas, Fracas drove by in her beat up ‘69 Volkswagon bug. It was a beat up yellow bug too. And she was jealous. So jealous she poured Maple Syrup all over his bumper. Then she did the strangest thing.

She rubbed a beaver’s back all over his bumper.

I have no idea why. Nor do I choose to wonder why further. I only know they seem to fit together…DP’s bumper, Fracas’s bug, and a poor abused little beaver in wait.

Pray for them.

Astragalus…is a plant that helps your body. While you could do the research or take my word, you can also click on the link and see for yourself what it’s about.

My take on this plant:

1. It’s pretty. Not all good things from nature can say that. Some are downright buttmunchies. Astragalus…isn’t.
2. Astragalus isn’t Asparagus. It’s not parsnips, nor a rhutabega. It’s not a banana either, but a banana is known to be fun for some women in Las Vegas.
3. Astragalus…is a fun word to use on your kids, even if they have no interest in looking it up. “Hey, you…eat your Asparagus before I stuff some Astragalus up your nostril!”

My favorite:

Is that an Astragalus your straddlin’, Fracas, or are ya happy ta see me post about ya?